December 20th, 2016.

You are looking at that date right? It doesn’t concern you and I know..

But I want to tell you a particular thing that happened that day!

Just read to the end and I might decide (out of my good heart) to give you a very important Marketing lesson…

So this is what happened:

I went to Calabar by bus 1 week to the above date.. I went to see someone….

The journey to Calabar was so smooth and sleek from Ibadan..

It was a journey of around 16 hours..

We left Ibadan around 6am and got there around 1am the next day.

I think that’s around 16 hours right? (Calculate because I am poor in mathematics)..

I did all I went there to do… 

I was even using one Itel phone then (I was a big boy then)….

So I was to come back on the above date….

I got to the park as early as 5am (cross country transport service)… 

I presented my ticket and I was shown my seat (we booked the ticket online)..

I was fixed at the front seat of the Hummer bus in which I will sit only like the king I am..

So a man came and he didn’t book beforehand.. he was given a seat at the door and he started complaining…

You know all these bitter People.. 

He grumbled that why would a small boy sit in the front…

He started showing everybody in the bus the danger of me sitting alone in front…

He even backed it with fear that what if anything happened…

How will I protect myself blah blah..

He made every damn person see his reason and even agreed with him…

Everybody bought his idea and I was told to go sit in his space and he should sit in mine…

That was his aim (can you imagine )..

I sluggishly sat in his seat because truth be told..

I was very afraid too (come and see the fear this man kept in me)..

We started the journey peacefully by exactly 5:45am..

But before I continue, there’s a quick lesson for you up there…

Did you see it?

You said you didn’t… Smh…

Let me show you..

You see how the man kept fear in us all?

You see how the man made everybody see the danger of me sitting in the front?

FEAR

That’s a very huge emotional trigger you should use in your sales letter…

Even while closing sales…

Let your prospects see the danger of them not getting your product..

Let them know your product can move them from their pain point to their desired point…

An example is this:

You sell clothes..

Let your prospect know how she will be the only one left out in her midst while others dress well…

You get the whole point?

Show her the danger of not buying your product…

Back to my journey….

The journey was smooth and sleek till around 5pm in the evening…

And you won’t believe something…

I was seated with a very fine girl…

From the way she sat down, she has a very phat ass

And you know how important phat ass is to me…. So i couldn’t let go….

And in a stylish way.. We have started talking….

Cracking jokes, getting her relaxed with me as a sharp guy…

We got to Owo road in Ondo state…

We were at a curve road and you know in the normal rule of driving…

It states: Never overtake in a curved road!!

But our driver forgot to attend driving school…

He was behind a Dangote truck and you can imagine how slow those trucks are…

The man was already frustrated and he saw opportunity in a curved road for crying out loud…

We shouted but it was too late…

We faced another Dangote truck coming our way…

The shouts of Jesus, Awusubillah, Orunmila filled the bus…

Our driver also tried to channel his hand inside the bush at least to save our head…

The Dangote truck also faced the bush and Las Las…

We kissed ourselves…

We had an accident so huge that it attracted FRSC, POLICE to the scene…

It was very bad buh thankfully…

Not bloody…

Even though I left the bus far before the crash happened…

The exact front seat I wanted to sit initially…

The front bumper cleared…..

Assuming I was the one seating there truthfully…

Maybe I won’t have my legs again today…

The man narrowly escaped by lying down on the front seat with his legs also on the seats…

I was the one with the highest song of praise….

Fine boy for just spoil like that…..

We left Owo around 8pm with our car bumper in hand instead of the front…

A bad to remember to be very honest…

P.S: Wait…

What am I hearing from you?

You want to know how I escaped?

Well, it wasn’t easy buh I followed the window…

You know how small the window of a bummer bus can be right?

As small as it… I had to follow when I saw a very fat woman squeezed herself out of the same window..

P.PS: You are also asking about the girl I was talking to?

Wait first… Have you registered for the PERSUASIVE DM SALES CLOSING CLASS?

The class is just 1,000 Naira only…

Register first and I will tell you…

You are still asking again Ashewo?

I said register first and I will tell you.

Well, sorry…

I don’t mean to call you that but you got me frustrated with your flirty attitude..

Stop being a flirt and face God.

Jesus is coming soon…